• Why Cold Jellyfish Should Be on Your Menu at Maxim

    LOVE OF SPECIFIC FOOD TEXTURES is as subjective as taste. In Cantonese cuisine, for example, there is a desired contrast in textures of bouncy, in tandem with a crispy mouthfeel. Something slippery or slimy like an oyster or rice cake can dim the light of a palate unaccustomed to it. The best wok hei flavour. may be lost, in this instance.

    Food trends drive us to be more open, into challenging our palate. Or is it that we have to try expensive options in a restaurant as they correlate to being the best menu options?

    Why Cold Jellyfish Should Be on Your Menu at Maxim
    Eating Cold Jellyfish with Chinese Vinegar, Cucumber and Mustard

    Cantonese style Chinese Food in Ealing

    Maxim is a Chinese restaurant specialising in Cantonese cuisine, in Ealing, West London although it’s based in Northfields and much closer to get to on the Piccadilly Line by tube from there. Ealing didn’t have many Chinese restaurants specialising in any regional or traditional foods or cuisines when Maxim arrived – so it was crowned Ealing’s best Chinese restaurant.

    Cold jellyfish is prepared with a side of mustard sauce for dipping. Thinly sliced cucumber adds Song hao – the crisp, crunchy bite. It’s a trilogy of textures and flavours I never thought I’d try. It works as though The Godfather Part Three was typecast to satisfy its audience. No fishy taste or Haribo jelly texture. Just smooth cartilage-like bite with a slippy snap that gripped the hot mustard and mellowed out with the cucumber. The creamed Chinese cabbage: a juxtaposition of things you’d not like to eat, is milky, sweet and on the scallion side of allium forward fruitiness. They are my two favourite dishes at Maxims. Executed impeccably.

    Sizzling Beef at MAXIM Ealing

    So there’s the jellyfish that looks like translucent hand cut noodles, that is crunchy and moreish and the creamed Chinese cabbage. Two reasons why ordering in a group is good here. I would not think to order these alone. I’ve ordered both from Maxim as many times as we visited as family – which is probably 25-35 times.

    The spring rolls are fat cigars – probably frozen filo pastry filled with bean sprouts, carrot and Chinese cabbage – succumb as much to that instagram -able presentation as absolutely nothing on the menu at MAXIM.

    In spite of what you feel about chilli oil, this is what David Chang called “ugly delicious”. Only works if it is –and it is, delicious.

    MAXIM – Best Chinese Food in Ealing

    Maxim Restaurant London Review

    We had been coming as a firm family favourite to MAXIM in Northfields for a decade or so. I was avoiding the past tense, until this statement. I want to clarify a few things. There’s a husband and wife team at the head of business or operations in the kitchen and the wife is a delight who takes every individual’s dietary needs, requests, on board without fuss. The Hot and Sour Soup and stir fried mixed vegetable dishes at MAXIM sent me to my kitchen (a place that simultaneously sustains my life and sucks and spits it out) to seek replicable answers.

    The food was good. Consistent yet pricey for, well, Northfields. Which isn’t were you’d it.

    One evening, on a bank holiday that was not busy we were encouraged to order our drinks first. We ordered bottles of wine for the table as it was a special occasion and our usual sparkling water. We were charged £20 per bottle of sparkling water. When asked if we’d like to order anything for dessert, (we barely did as it’s mostly frittered fruit and ice cream from Tesco) we mentioned it was a birthday.

    We had the option to decide what we wanted. Leaving it to the server seemed benign; upon their instance, knowing almost by heart our preferences. It was as described. Charged for it, too. All in all, it left us with a bitter a taste for the establishment. Take with that, what you will.

    Maxim Chinese Restaurant Ratings

    Overall: MAXIM Cantonese Food in LONDON located in Northfields - Chinese Food Ealing

    MAXIM – Ealing, London – dates of visit 2014-2023.

    Taste: 6.9/10

    Service: 1-3/10

    Value for Money: 4.5/10

  • Vilnius Travel Adventures: Fried Bread and Beer

    GEORGE ORWELL SAID: “A genuinely unfashionable opinion is almost never given a fair hearing…” Why then, visit Vilnius, Lithuania?

    Vilnius Travel Adventures: Fried Bread and Beer
    Fried Lithuanian Bread at Šnekutis

    Regional Culinary Delights in the Historic Lithuania

    Earlier, I acquainted myself with Lithuanians of London, by way of booking an off-peak Ryan Air flight experience. Ryan Air had just set in place a new reason to fine us.

    Ryan Air Baggage limitations

    An added thrill. Half the passengers I board pay a fine with me; costing more than the plane ticket. Newly implemented permitted onboard carrier luggage dimensions. We shake heads ; hands, take it on the chin. That is, apart from one or two anti-heroes. Sadly, they don’t make it on board.

    Fried Lithuanian Bread

    Disappointed in my inability to convey collective emotion, in the Lithuanian language, let alone basic non-emotive conversation prompts, I continue.

    Fried Lithuanian bread smacks me upside the head. The historic Old Town Vilnius was founded in 1387. It probably saw me coming. As did this Lithuanian snack that must have smirked to its mate Lithuanian wheat beer; had a giggle, with garlic. That’s those flecks in the picture: garlic.

    Cathedral Square Katedros Aikštė – Main Square Vilnius – City Capital, Lietuva

    Šnekutis beer pub was were I had by first Lithuanian fried bread. English breakfast fried bread can sod off. Šv. Mikalojaus (Saint Nicholas) Street is where my trainers had an absolute wreck of a first date with all forms of white and black pavement encrusted ice. Coming off Cathedral Square, nearby (in better walking conditions) into contact with overhanging bulbs of welcoming lights, a beer-mat tramp stamped swinging door to draught beer at 10pm Lithuanian time, had me proverbially weeping with joy.

    Baltic Fried Bead with Cheese Sauce And Beer

    One might say that by that point anything I consumed or imbibed would have sent me over the edge. Which is fair, apart from the fact that I’m writing this many months later and I’ve eaten a lot of fried in the Baltics since. Paired with beer. Any way, home to the oldest surviving church in Vilnius – the Gothic-style Šv. Mikalojaus (Saint Nicholas) – Šv. Mikalojaus (Saint Nicholas) Street at Šnekutis is where I started my foray into Lithuanian wheat beer and bread.

    Although the Lithuanian language is one of the oldest living Indo-European languages in Europe, I asked for whatever local beer and snack the bar keep recommended, in English, punctuating only my knowledge of beer (pour measures) in the process: a pint.

    The accompanying cheese sauce was like edam, white cheddar and garlic mayonnaise decided that cohesively they united as an inseparable sauce when warm. The fried non greasy strips of kepta duona (Lithuanian fried bread) graced me with gentle linseed, whispers of malt syrup, barley and spices combined with flecks of unexpected astringency from the garlic. Kepta duona is magically moreish. The cheese sauce as anti American and cut off from Tex Mex I would swear I’ve never heard of a Dorito or nacho if it meant I could bottle this Süriu, Ĉesnaku ir Majonezu Sauce. It wouldn’t taste the same though. Not least because it’s garlic and cheesy (sour cream accented) mayonnaise.

    Landing at Vilnius airport in February

    Ushering my tired trainers back out to the their hazardous fate I took in the post snow air, a mix of piss and mildew and I did: I felt excited about the next days of exploring this historical Capital City of Lithuania. Was there another language that google translate disabled the speaker tool for? Was the local wine as good as the beer and was breakfast a thing here? I didn’t know how to pronounce sveiki yet but if I heard hello one more time when I tried, my head would explode. The local wine sounded interestingly strange and I wondered if the complimentary buffet breakfast was real, considering what I paid for my clean, warm, private room.

    I got some change from a 10 euro note for my pint of local wheat beer and kepta duona with cheese sauce. There are local hearty, substantial meals to try at Šnekutis at reasonable prices too so you should try them.

    There are five historic and cultural regions in Lithuania. Vilnius the capital South Aukštaitian dialect speaking, is located in the ethnographic region of Dzūkija (also known as Dainava). Although the regions can be considered to correspond to different Lithuanian dialects, this is not strictly the case. In the case of Vilnius: it does not mean that Dzūkija is part of Aukštaitija; dialects of other regions are spoken in certain parts; there are three indigenous dialects in Samogitia (some of which are subdivided into sub-dialects).

    If that sounds complex that’s because it is.

    Overall for a first timer in the capital of Lithuania

    Visiting Vilnius, Lithuania – Part One. Date of Visit: February 2025

    Taste: 6.9/10

    Service: 4.2/10

    Value for Money: 7/10

  • Boro Bistro Review: A Culinary Adventure Under the Bridge

    Under the bridge and down the steps, en-route Borough Market, a perpendicular swivel to your right finds you enface an alleyway. There you find a courtyard leased out to indoor crazy golf and Boro Bistro. I would say, follow the fairy lights but they’re everywhere now.

    Snails with Garlic butter

    The snails with garlic butter were tough. Chewy was my first bite. At £9 a plate I reserved my judgement. Not a bad idea as, like a camp symphony that teases, my second twist into the shell pulled out more snail meat that bit like wagyu married a fat Gordal olive. Earthy. Nutty and happily married with garlic butter.

    Finding Ricard Pastis On A London Menu

    Ricard Pastis

    The main snails eaten in France are the Helix pomatia (Burgundy snail), although Bulots – i.e. sea snails or whelks are commonly found on restaurant menus in Brittany and Normandy. The Burgundy snail is consumed in this way, as is presented with garlic butter. A Bulot is eaten as a steamed head-on grey or pink Crevette or prawn, with lemon and a side of mayonnaise. I assume its got more crunch and salinity.

    The menu at Boro Bistro

    It’s not easy to find Ricard or a Pastis in London on a menu. It’s a an aniseed heavy drink that is not too sweet. Good for digestion and typically consumed in summer months. You have to ask for how you want it served if you find it on a menu in London.

    The service is lacklustre here Boro Bistro but I’m late to my reservation and it is a Saturday night where I can see most first dates or Friday night date dissections (over a glass of white wine) are well underway.

    The best leeks I ate in my life

    An Affinity With Alliums: French Cookery At Its Finest

    The French have a way with alliums. Shakespeare convinced us that good and evil are interchangeable: elopement; familial estrangement; murder, all those fun things are all about nothing.

    The French convinced me that garlic, even raw garlic, stripped down to only unpeeled white noise – is good. In spite of delayed heart burn encounters; breath that bothers me not, is a fine trade-off for refinement in taste.

    If a dish corrupted my character that night, it was the roasted leeks with pistachio & mint pesto and hazelnut.

    Taken, this review is mostly beautiful images (as the truffle fries were soggy and far too truffle forward for me and the salad was OK but too ingredient heavy for my liking) I would say that was some corruption.

    I will come again and try out more dishes, if I’m in area, although there are a lot of other restaurants round the corner I’d like to try first. 6.8/10 for experience. Overall….

    London Bridge London

    Boro Bistro Review

    Boro Bistro review – date of visit Saturday October 2025

    Overall French food in London France

    Taste: 6/10

    Service: 5.2/10

    Value for Money: 6/10

  • Colbert London

    Largest restaurant on Sloane Square – Colbert

    Colbert, not to be confused by the American comedian and writer of the same nomenclature, was opened to replace the Oriel restaurant in October 2012. Colbert the restaurant was created by Jeremy King and Chris Corbin after the Earl of Cadogan, the landlord, was dissatisfied with his meal at the Oriel and chose not to renew its lease.

    Two things we don’t see on a French Brasserie or Bistro menu in London are a well balanced soupe à l’oignon or French Onion soup and a menu that includes Pastis, let alone a selection of it to choose from.

    These have never been removed nor changed from the menu since I have been coming here for over 6 years.

    French Onion Soup and Ricard at Colbert, Chelsea

    As a morose Goldilocks warned with her; too hot, too cold and just right porridge tasting, we must take heed as French onion soup lovers, to appreciate when the broth is present and not gravy like. The black pepper swirls across the melted compté and finally the sweet onion. If it’s not in this order of mouthful; pepper, fat, salt and sweetness, while still nearly burning my tongue to the point that I cannot put my spoon down – I don’t what to know it. Or order it. ever again.

    Art deco interiors at the French Brassie Colbert on Sloane Square

    The clacking of heel or muffled rubber sole landing on mosaic tiles, is reminiscent of your Victorian town house entrance, or British boarding school corridor. The overhanging art deco spanning the bar, restaurant, splendid bathroom interiors, come in and out of focus like clouds of asbinthe for artists and pastis for poets in 17th Century Saint Germain.

    Seasonal vegetarian dish at Colbert London

    If you love a globe artichoke steamed with vinaigrette dressing it is a treat heard in so much as each you’ll love it hear when it’s on the menu (it’s off now). It’s the most expensive you can order in London but they’ll make sure you decide at what temperature it’s served to you. It’s trimmed to perfection but I’d still order it alone or with a close friend.

    Individual oysters are sourced from Poole and Jersey. There is no more information on their size or taste so you have to spend the £5.95 to find out. I’ve done it for you (it was £4.95 previously) and what can I say?

    Huîtres

    I like my oysters raw and in any size. Nutty or even better, creamy with a gentle salinity. These are really good. I used to think the creamy part was the belly of the oyster. Turns out it’s the reproductive organs. I’ve a lot to learn about oysters.

    Overall

    As long as the Cadogan family remain the landlord or Colbert exists, I’ll come back when I can for what I pay a reduced, if not fraction of the price for in France (not necessarily Paris). The key to Colbert is consistency. I’ve never faulted a single dish ordered, yet, seen a change in standard nor a reason to complain. It’s fun, comfortable, with great service added on. Qu’est-ce que ne pas aimer?

    Additional costs and considerations

    The menu changes slightly with the season, particularly vegetarian items. A 175 ml pour of wine starts from £10.75 and it’s worth checking the draught pours of beer and cider at the bar where you can also order some bites and chat with the friendly bar staff about drinks. Cover Charge is £2.50 at Lunch and Dinner in the Dining Rooms and a 15% service charge will be added to your bill. The dessert menu is lengthy for a brasserie and note-worthy if you have a sweet tooth. They don’t wow but they end the meal nicely if that’s your kind of thing.

    Overall ratings for Colbert Chelsea

    Taste: 7/10

    Service: 7.4/10

    Value for money: 6.5/10

  • Budget Eats in London
    Budget eats in London that don’t feel budget

    What Do Locals Eat in London?

    London is England but it’s also, well, London. It’s a City and an expensive one at that. After a trip Tesco where you forgot the one item you intended to buy, what do you eat? In your London flat when you have a craving but no ingredients? Order from Deliveroo or other food delivery apps every day?

    Lunch for £5 in London

    Hungry in Central London? On a budget? A meat/veg lasagne for under £5 (£4.20) sounds good. Paninis with fillings like mortadella, prosciutto crudo tuna or vegetarian options including artichoke and sun-dried tomatoes can be had, sat inside a café in the heart of London. All for £5 or under.

    Charlotte street near high street shops, walking distance from Oxford Circus and Tottenham court road underground stations (nearest Goodge Street), is convenient. This London location is high end. Sitting down for a simple lunch where a cappuccino is £2.50; a freshly squeezed orange juice is £3.80, means this small business has support.

    There’s got to be a loyal local customer base for Italia Uno on Charlotte Street, Central London, to survive selling plates of hot/cold food, vegetarian lunch options, from up to £5 per person.

    The Food Scene In London

    What about coffee shops (although we’re a tea drinking Nation) and Italian restaurants, sushi chains? Are they any good? Will I get my value for money – as a student, a budget traveller fighting the exchange rate? How about we, the Londoner, not wanting to try new food: it’s too much risk for our hard earned Great British Pound?

    Cheap Steak Frites Menu

    Steak and French Fries or Steak Frites is that classic French duo, loved by meat eaters globally but in particular New Yorkers and Londoners. Typically high in cost no matter where you go. Also, typically eaten for dinner. With a glass of red wine.

    If you want to hold onto the red wine but will forgo the dinner service for lunch, you can eat Steak Frites on a Tuesday in London for £15 excluding your drink of choice, by booking here. It doesn’t taste bad either. A solid steak and French Fries lunch in the heart of Covent Garden on a Tuesday.

    In Soho on Dean Street this à la carte menu offers a Chargrilled Bavette Steak for £15.90 that comes with classic shallots and mushroom bordelaise sauce and homemade French fries. You don’t pay extra for the sauce as is the usual annoyance when you find steak on a menu. I hear it’s served medium rare, unless otherwise specified, rather flavoursome without being tough, in spite of the cut of beef.

    The cheapest option at Le Relais de Venise l’Entrecôte is £33 excluding drinks. It’s the Paris import famously known for its only offer to diners, bar dessert: a set menu of green salad with walnuts, dressing, followed by trimmed Entrecôte steak “Porte Maillot” with its famous sauce. While French fries are also included, you get two servings of preferred done-ness of the Entrecôte steak sliced. By price comparison, Pierre Victoire offers the same cut of Entrecôte steak, homemade frites, garlic and parsley maitre’d butter, green salad for £27.90 on their à la carte menu. It’s got several other typical French bistro menu options, including vegetarian options, at reasonable prices, particularly their starters that include, escargots, steak tartare, French onion soup.

    I hear the takeaway menu at baguette offerings are more delicious and cost effective at Le Relais de Venise l’Entrecôte. There are two locations; one in eats London and the other in Marylebone. It’s no reservations so expect a line, or queue, as we say in England.

    International Cuisine for Under £20 in London

    British cuisine lacks seasoning or it doesn’t apply the seasonings acquired from lands colonisation. This is the reputation of British food instilled into many non-Brits. We have marmite and the scotch bonnet pepper. Neither are bland.

    Vietnamese Pho in London

    I like the lunch dine-in option of this chain. To take away or Deliveroo your order can leave you with a lot of noodles that aren’t soggy (as they cleverly separate the noodles from the broth) but to dine-in means you have delightful fresh cut chilli and garlic in vinegar, nuoc cham, chilli oil and if you like sriracha you can go to town on it too. It’s on the table at no extra cost (except the nuoc cham which you can ask to be topped up). They are generous with bean sprouts, mint, coriander and Thai basil.

    Price point dining in: £15 (with one main) A beer or starter along with with a pho or other main, between £20-25. There are also choices to make your pho broth vegetarian as well as lots of vegetarian and vegan options on the menu.

    Avoiding Tourist Traps In London

    So, you’ve paid your extortionate fee to sleep well, refrigerate foodstuffs and already packed Fortnum and Mason tea bags as gifts. Supermarket bought bagged and loose tea leaves taste great too, by the way. So do the biscuits and chocolates from Tesco or Morrisons. It’s how Londoners survive, in case you were wondering.

    After scrolling through TikTok and watching you tubers munch on chocolate covered strawberries in Borough Market for the hundredth time.. What do you actually eat here? Whatever you want, of course!

    A running theme you’ll notice in this blog is that I like to dine out where I can order menu items or dishes I wouldn’t typically make myself. English breakfasts in London are not something I’m familiar with as I like a Greasy Spoon. Sadly, the reality is that: I liked a Greasy Spoon. I’m not talking about Regency Cafe or E. Pellecci in Bethnal Green. I’m talking about the liquidation prone Greasy Spoon by the laundromat where a bacon sarnie cost £1.50. If you have a kitchen in your air bnb and you’re staying for over 3 nights, buy: a tin of Heinz baked beans from Tesco; along with some eggs, tomato, oyster mushrooms, toast, British Cumberland or Richmond sausages, British bacon and black pudding. It sounds like a lot but it’s not when portioned out.

    Alternatively, if you’re kitchen free and like big breakfast, The Ritz Cafe in Hammersmith on the District and Piccadilly lines serves you a make your own English Breakfast with a choice of tea or coffee for £7-11.

    Indian Street Food in London

    Pani puri, dosa, vegetarian delights, lamb, combined with seafood, flavours from Goa are discoveries to be found in Southall. Southall is a West london residential area away from the tourist magnet that is Central London, which can be reached by public transport on the recently built Elizabeth line. If you’re in Ealing, West London, or happen to be staying in the area for its easy access via public transport to Heathrow and most places across London, you can tray an array of Indian street. It’s street food heaven if you want to nibble away on delights and purchase some spices for cooking. I would dine-in for dosa and reserve the bigger meals with starters, mains and naan with or following a pint, for Brick Lane in Shoreditch, East London. Dosa tastes better when its hot and fresh and enjoyed on a plate, in my opinion. Pani puri needs to eaten standing up by a street cart if you’re to avoid inauthentic add ins or service for bites you pop in your mouth and off you go!

    For chaats, puris, pakoras and samosas for under £5 while you stand and chat to locals before deciding where to shop, the two links below offer a starting point into what Indian street food in Southall, London has to offer.

    Rehang Chaat House

    ChaatPatta Corner Southall

    Deli Sandwiches For Under £10 In London

    Pret a manger is the typical sandwich chain you’ll see in every Borough of London. More or less. That’s because it’s fresh and located by City offices or where one typically takes out a sandwich and heads back to the office.

    £8.70 Deli Sandwich in London

    When I think of a deli sandwich, I think filling. Layers and layers of filling, stacked so that I can’t finish the sandwich and the other half can conveniently fill me up later in the day. At £8.70, this offering from Delizie D’Italia for any of their sandwiches – including vegetarian options – is what I would call value for money.

    Best Dim Sum In Chinatown London

    As much as I’d love to eat it every day or at least once a week, dim sum is not cheap. Cheung fun in London is hit and miss. More on China Town later.. but if you get to Leicester Square I suggest you keep some cash on and make a dash for Kowloon Bakery on Gerrard Street. Grab some fresh – make sure they’re fresh – Youtiao and whatever freshly baked treats take your fancy. Point at the display if you can’t pronounce the items you’d like to try and let the lovely lady get your goods ready while you head to the counter on the right ready to pay. Everything is under £6 per piece, tastes as good as you’ll get in London and not just for the price.

    Pro tip for visiting London’s Chinatown: Lo’s Noodle Factory supplies most of Chinatown in London’s dim sum restaurants which noodles and dumpling wrappers. You can purchase these from them directly on Dansey place in Chinatown.

    Beijing Dumpling Chinatown London

    If you need to rest your legs, I like Beijing Dumpling on Lisle Street in Chinatown for the fact that they don’t care if you’re alone, how much you order, you can see them make the dumplings; it’s hard to spend over £25pp minus alcohol (which is unique for a dim sum spot) and you can order a bottle of house wine for £17.50 and take it home with you if you don’t finish it. It get’s busy at peak times but the queue moves fast. It’s not as instagram-able like Din Tai Fung or Leongs Legend but it does the job.

    Nearby (3 min walk away) in the same London China Town at 3-6pm slurp one-pound-a-pop oysters at Burger and Lobster on Wardour Street.

    Cheap Pizza in London

    If you’re sick of frozen pizza or craving pizza in London as a tourist, there are too many options. If you are visiting from Napoli you’ll shed a tear at the prices. Pizza Union, with various locations throughout East London and one in Kings Cross, doesn’t compare to Napoli but at least we’re talking £4 for a marinara from the start. We are talking about budget eats in London that don’t make you feel like you’re on a budget. So I’m including it as you won’t spend over £10 for a 12 inch pizza here. There is a whole lot of pizza in London. Sicilian, Neapolitan, Roman, etc. May be a discussion for another blog.

    Is Wetherspoons Any Good?

    The first Wetherspoons pub opened in Wales. You can get a full English there for £6 at most JD Wetherspoons pubs. Along with a pint you can tuck into an array of offerings like burgers and curries. It can get rowdy in the evenings. The clientele can change dramatically, depending on the Wetherspoon’s location, so take note. Or rather, take caution (especially if you’re with children).

    If you’re craving a beer and quick bite you can find a Wetherspoon’s pub here, saving you some time on trying figure out how to spot them. I believe they have beers on tap for under £3 on Mondays.

    Finally, if you’ve read till the end, I would love to know your budget eats in London. Where did you get the most value for your money eating out in London? Would you be interested in a part 2 from a resident of this City for 25 years? What types of cuisine interest you the most?

  • ZUMA LONDON

    ZUMA review – date of visit Saturday October 2025

    The bouncer at the door, the hidden cobbled pathway of Raphael Street, the Knightsbridge address discreetly possessing no view of Harrods while neighbouring a Green King Pub— are all really good things about ZUMA, London. No, really, they are.

    Not many people talk about his upscale Japanese restaurant chain, as they do say, Nobu. It doesn’t boast an Omakase Menu. Nor a Michelin Star. Two things that, when it comes to eating raw fish in any Mainland Capital, regardless of what counts for supply-demand freshness, I have an open mind. By that I mean I don’t care.

    Wagyu beef

    Before we get into details, the interiors and all that vibey stuff, I have to mention I’ve been coming here for after work drinks, snacks, meals (always dinners), blow out birthdays for about a decade.

    We give our names for the reservation for 5 at 7pm on a Saturday. I’m used to giving my coat (it was one of those London October days) but for the first time no offer was given to take it and I missed the Zuma emblazoned coat check. I didn’t know it yet but it was a sign of things to come.

    We were sat with our backs to the cold wind blowing every opening of the entrance so I asked if it was possible to be sat somewhere else. My request was greeted with the response my grasp of both Knightsbridge service industry and Eastern European etiquette and culture deemed admissible.

    All cosy with views of both chefs and grill at a wooden specimen of a table, not out of place in Ibiza: the comfortable deportation trumped their Wifi.

    We need to get into the food and drink now as that’s what we’re here for.

    Edamame salted and spicy arrives. I notice no one touches the spicy one and that’s because it tastes like warmed up Sriracha on top. I hear the miso soup tastes good from the other three diners. It was placed in front of me and when I handed the tea cup sized portion to my fellow diner, the contents did not pique my curiosity.

    The aubergine main character at Zuma, now in the snacks and soup section of the menu, is not here to play. The buttery flesh has no give. It’s skin is so thin that any bitter char whispering smoke into the now baby aubergine cylinder shaped presentation, is obsolete.

    The best bite of Aubergine in London yet

    Vegetarian auberigine dish at ZUMA Knightsbridge
    japanese aubergine, white sesame and kinome

    Creamy caramelised miso paste topped with a thin garnish complete the oblong platter that – since the Post Covid renovation –has changed in both mouth feel and ingredient choice.

    I top each subsequent bite with a topping of generous wafer-thin slices of Jalapeño as that’s how I like it. If you ask for them as I did, they cut through the richness, which a toothsome sprig of sprightly coriander to substitute the interminable green on each moreish morsel, is my palate’s only suggestion.

    The burnt tomato and aubergine salad made its way into inconsistent dishes unworthy of recommending in future while the Zuma salad, a little over £3 dearer was fresh, ingredient heavy and interesting.

    Salad at Zuma London
    burnt tomato and aubergine salad with smoked tofu, kinome yaki nasu to tomato no sarada, kunsei tofu zoe

    The skewers – always a hit. The lamb chops devoured. The excitement of Umeboshi, mentaiko and shiso (perilla leaf) paired with scallop was undetectable. Each overzealous zebra char formation reminded me that I preferred succulence and sweetness and naturally generous mentaiko flavour; coral, that an in-shell scallop provided.

    The chicken wings were passable. The miso cod was left to take away. The otoro was replaced by chu toro in the chef’s selection (special?)

    I ordered otoro sashimi (that comes in 3 pieces per serving) expecting each piece to create that just-over-ice sheen like quality of moist melded marbling. What I wasn’t expecting, however, from this premium 3 biter was that the fat was clearly visible. It did not meld or marble. I couldn’t take a one biter without feeling a sheath-like cross section reminiscent of meaty, raw, connective tissue.

    It may be a pleasant expectation for a particular cut of this mammal, of which I do not know. I also saw for the first time a glaring hue of green on the wasabi. Having observed the chefs at the table grate the fresh wasabi in all my previous visits, I was grateful for my request of Jalapeño, if not a touch nostalgic for the pure authentic zing that only freshly grated wasabi can bring.

    The chopsticks were wooden, to be broken apart by hand as in any high street chain and no resting place for them either, as was previously.

    Premium sushi and sashimi in London
    Chutoro and caviar with salmon and tuna

    The birthday desert assortment comes as a visual and tasting extravaganza, garnering a bit of a show and fanfare highlighting exotic fruit, matcha ice cream and a chocolate fondant – of which are not individually sold in the dessert menu. Which is a shame. As they are the best of the sum of parts. It’s not always complimentary and the assortment is dependent on the total table spend. This knowledge comes from casual and occasional visitations at ZUMA London, spanning a lengthy frame of time and every possible factor that could contradict this.

    Taste: 8/10

    Service: 7.9/10

    Value for Money: 5.9/10

    Would I return? Absolutely – for my tried and tested. Would I take up the offer of assistance by a sommelier next time? Indeed. The Rosé from Uruguay didn’t hit the mark, although a flung guess at an under £100 bottle of white, the second time round, did.

    Zuma London might not be as talked about these days as it once was, mostly tongue-in-cheek, particularly during Covid. However, it still has its hits and attentive staff, that may witter away into one when it’s a busy Saturday night. They did verbally mention that the 15% Service charge doesn’t include tips which is bold but in these economic times perhaps a sobering reflection on the real price of (fine) dining out. The total bill was over £900, including tip over £1000.       

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London